I really don't want to know what kind of clientele you service if you have to put this sign in your window:
(via passiveaggressivenotes.com)
(via passiveaggressivenotes.com)
Showing posts with label I don't think I WANT to know. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I don't think I WANT to know. Show all posts
TMI To The Max
The other night, I went to Office Max to pick up some printer paper. As I hadn't been in the store for quite a while, I walked through all of the aisles to see what there was to see. (I have an obsession with office supply stores--I HAVE to have a 'talk' with myself before I go in them or I will spend far too much money.) Anyway, I stopped to look at the mouse pads in the computer accessories aisle and I saw this on the packaging of several of them:
Thank you, but I DON'T want to know WHAT you are doing if you need a stain and odor resistant mouse pad.
"...stain and odor resistant..."
Thank you, but I DON'T want to know WHAT you are doing if you need a stain and odor resistant mouse pad.
Police Log
Okay, so I wasn't expecting to do another police log post so soon, but this one HAD to be done. First, realize that this was at 9:58 IN. THE. MORNING! This was on New Year's Day. And the car was parked not very far from where The Husband works--a VERY public place.
--9:58 AM, couple in small gray car not using much discretion, gone on arrival
Can anyone say, "GET A ROOM?"
--9:58 AM, couple in small gray car not using much discretion, gone on arrival
Can anyone say, "GET A ROOM?"
Strangely Wal Mart
We all know that strange things can be found at Walmart--go here to see some of the strangest--but in China you can find things that we would NEVER see here in the US. Now, this doesn't mean these things are BAD, per se, just different and strange in our way of thinking. I don't know of anyplace in the US where you will find crocodiles or dried reptiles sold in a Walmart. But then again, I COULD be wrong. Here is an article titled 16 Items They Only Sell At Chinese Walmarts. After you click the link, come back and discuss.
WTF!?!?!?!?
I MUST know how this happened.
The bathroom is located in the middle of the first floor of our house. It has no windows, but does have a ceiling fan that is ducted through the attic to the outside. I just went to use the facility, lifted the lid and there, floating and drowning in the water, was a big-ass bumblebee. Where the hell did it come from? It wasn't anywhere that I saw when I was in the bathroom an hour earlier. I haven't been out of the house, so the doors weren't open for it to fly in. We have screens on the two windows I have open. So, again I ask: Where the hell did it come from?
And my panic attacks shall start NOW!
The bathroom is located in the middle of the first floor of our house. It has no windows, but does have a ceiling fan that is ducted through the attic to the outside. I just went to use the facility, lifted the lid and there, floating and drowning in the water, was a big-ass bumblebee. Where the hell did it come from? It wasn't anywhere that I saw when I was in the bathroom an hour earlier. I haven't been out of the house, so the doors weren't open for it to fly in. We have screens on the two windows I have open. So, again I ask: Where the hell did it come from?
And my panic attacks shall start NOW!
Yes, Sir, That's My Baby
We love our kids--we wouldn't have had them otherwise. Thing is, kids are work and they DO have the tendency to wreck things. It is unavoidable, I guess. And we all have stories about things our kids have ruined. My youngest, for example, was a chewer. She chewed EVERYTHING. It didn't matter if it was metal (the legs on her playpen) or wood (my open, kitchen shelves) or cloth (terry towels--don't ask.) To this day, I STILL have edges of my shelves that look as if a beaver chewed on them. And that brings me to the reason for this post, the newest website I have found. It is called Shit My Kids Ruined and just going through it makes me GRATEFUL that my kids are grown. I also am grateful for how few stories I actually have, compared to some on this site. The best part? Most of the stories have pictures. Go to the site NOW. You will be amazed, amused, and everything in between. And you just might have stories of your own to contribute.
From The WAY TMI File
If you have ever had the joy(?) of using an authentic, old-fashioned outhouse, then you know there is a certain, unmistakable odor associated with them. I guess it probably isn't a great thing if your bathroom has that same odor after you use it, right? :D
Vajazzling
I KNOW I'm out of the loop. I KNOW I'm a hick. I KNOW I don't pay much attention to things that aren't hockey. But HOW did I miss this one? Vajazzling. As in 'adding Swarovski crystals to your lady bits.' Yeah. If you need to read some more, you can find an article here. Now I know for sure: If I live long enough, I WILL have heard everything.
Yeah, People Are Strange
Talked to The Youngest tonight and, inevitably, the conversation turned to her work and the people she deals with. And she told me this story:
The clinic had to put down a cat last Friday. The owners made arrangements for the clinic to cremate the cat. However, the owners took the cat (DEAD) home for the weekend and brought it back today for the cremation. The Youngest DOESN'T want to know the answer to the question "WHY?"
Another story:
A month ago, the clinic put down a cat. The owners decided to take the cat home with them, so that it could be buried. (Against the law, but the clinic had no way of 'knowing' whether they intended to bury it in their backyard.) Anyway, The Youngest got a call from the owners today saying that they have to bring the cat back, because the ground was frozen and they couldn't bury it. Excuse me!?!?!?!?!? They live in Minnesota and they didn't know you can't dig a grave in THE MIDDLE OF THE WINTER?
Another story:
A while back, the clinic had to put a dog down. The owners knew it was going to happen and came in to be with the dog. Before they would allow the dog to be put to sleep, they 'decorated' the room with statues of saints, religious pictures and icons of all sorts, and lit candles. Then, and only then, did they allow the dog to be put down. Again, The Youngest didn't ask "WHY?"
And these people walk the same Earth I do. I think I'm scared.
The clinic had to put down a cat last Friday. The owners made arrangements for the clinic to cremate the cat. However, the owners took the cat (DEAD) home for the weekend and brought it back today for the cremation. The Youngest DOESN'T want to know the answer to the question "WHY?"
Another story:
A month ago, the clinic put down a cat. The owners decided to take the cat home with them, so that it could be buried. (Against the law, but the clinic had no way of 'knowing' whether they intended to bury it in their backyard.) Anyway, The Youngest got a call from the owners today saying that they have to bring the cat back, because the ground was frozen and they couldn't bury it. Excuse me!?!?!?!?!? They live in Minnesota and they didn't know you can't dig a grave in THE MIDDLE OF THE WINTER?
Another story:
A while back, the clinic had to put a dog down. The owners knew it was going to happen and came in to be with the dog. Before they would allow the dog to be put to sleep, they 'decorated' the room with statues of saints, religious pictures and icons of all sorts, and lit candles. Then, and only then, did they allow the dog to be put down. Again, The Youngest didn't ask "WHY?"
And these people walk the same Earth I do. I think I'm scared.
