Jimmie Johnson Extenze Commercial AKA "Men ask Jimmie Johnson about Male Enhancement ALOT"

Former Miami Hurricanes/Dallas Cowboys head coach Jimmie Johnson was a pretty good football coach but the one thing that you didn't about him, he needed a little improving his game in the bedroom.

Yep, this a commercial for the male enchancement drug, "Extenze". It increases the size of well, something that only guys have.

I have a sinking suspicion that the first thing that guys asks Jimmie Johnson has absolutely nothing to do with his bedroom antics.

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Mark Martin wins Nascar race because other drivers ran out of fuel

You just can't make this stuff up.

3 laps to go in yesterday's Lifelock 400 Sprint Cup race at Michigan Speedway. The top three are Jimmie Johnson (who had been dominating all day), Greg Biffle, and 50 year old Mark Martin. Certainly looked like Johnson was going to win the race, as he's done so many times before.

But then, with 2 laps left, Jimmie Johnson ran out of fuel. It happens, Nascar teams try to stretch fuel as far as they can and take chances. And this one simply didn't work out for Johnson. So Biffle passed him and took first. Easy win.

But no. Less than one lap later, Biffle ran out of fuel. So as the final lap began, Biffle was coasting just as Johnson had been a lap before, hoping that his car would somehow make it across the finish line. Mark Martin passed him for the lead, which had to feel great considering he was settling for third just 2 laps ago because he too was conserving fuel.

The best part? As he neared the finish line, Martin ran out of fuel too, and he actually won by coasting over the finish life. Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good (More info on this race can be found here).

The other best part? This is the second time this has happened to Jimmie Johnson this year. How much does that suck?

Biffle finished the race in 5th, Johnson finished 22nd. So next time you run out of fuel on the road and feel like a dumbass when you have to call AAA, remember this: It (literally) happens to the best of us.

UPDATE: Here is TNT's Coverage of the Final 3 Laps of the Lifelock 400

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The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same

As we near the end of 2008, it feels like a lot of things have gone topsy turvy in the sports world. The Patriots are no Super Bowl lock, LT is no longer the best (or maybe even 10th best) running back in the game, The Rays (THE FREAKIN RAYS!!!) made the World Series and Tiger Woods wasn't golfer of the year.

But here's some things you could set your clock by, because they happen every year, and this year was no different:

1) The Yankees will always spend a gazillion dollars on free agents. This year it's Sabathia, Texiera, and Burnett so far. And unlike past years, this spending might actually matter.

2) Someone will pick the Lions to win 10 games (See: Kitna, Jon) and they will suck instead. Only this year they are bad in an epic way. They haven't won a game in Green Bay in something like 7 years. So maybe 0-16 is rock bottom? There's only one way to spell a continued history of losing. And that's O-r-v-l-o-s-k-y. I wonder if they could do 0-16 two years in a row?

3) Someone will pick the Cardinals to make the playoffs (they've been a hot NFC West Champ pick since a few years ago in SI) and they will suck instead. This year they actually did good...but now the true suck is showing through as the playoffs come. Too bad, so sad.

4) Jimmie Johnson will win another Nascar Championship. No one will care.

5) Boston will remain the best sports town in America. So it goes.

6) Justin Timberlake will make hilarious videos. Like this. And this.

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