Every week, a robot is fed information from the wide world of the interweb and then spits out a list. We usually dispose of the list and create ours anyway. 
1) Hayden Panettiere- Everyone’s favorite Heroes cheerleader is going to be in a new movie called, “I Love You, Beth Cooper.”
The movie which is a novel written by former Simpsons writer Larry Doyle tracks a nerdy valedictorian who pronounces his love to a high school cheerleader played by Hayden Panettiere and the wild night they have.
Wow, Hollywood that seems like a great idea. Again, the main nerdy character knows nothing about women or sex. In this society, how in the hell does that happen?
The movie will most likely flop like the many others (We blame you American Pie for starting this trend) but Hayden Panettiere will continue to be her seductive self in this movie and give men more fantasies about tappin’ it.
In the end, Hayden’s music video called “Wake Up Call” could not be more fitting. 
2) Isiah Thomas- Well, Isiah Thomas has a new job coaching the Florida Atlantic basketball team. He even offered to donate his first-year salary back to the athletic department.
“Isiah Thomas took our jobs."
3) Bo, the presidential dog- The only drama left in the Obama administration was when the presidential pooch was going to be revealed.
Bo who named after famed musician Bo Diddly is a Portuguese water dog.
The real question is who picks up the presidential pooch’s poop?
4) The New York Islanders- The NHL draft lottery presented by Scotiabank has occurred and the New York Islanders won the rights to the number one pick to draft either of the top prospects, John Tavares or Victor Hedman.
Stop pretending like you do not know who those prospects are. Wait, you do not. Crap, let's move onto number five.
5) Susan Boyle- It appeared that Britain’s Got Talent was setting themselves up for a failure when a unemployed 48-year old woman named Susan Boyle was going to sing “I dreamed a dream” from Les Miserables.
Then she rocked it. To quote Dr. Seuss,
“And what happen then…? They say in Britain that Simon Cowell’s heart grew three sizes that day.”
Just Missed the Cut: Girls in Montreal, More MoJo in Jacksonville, The Golden Boy retires, Step up to the Streets 2 in 3-D and Getting your cheerleading coach fired because you didn’t make the team by ratting out that she did Playboy.
The Top Five-Save the Cheerleader
