Last night I announced that my oldest is pregnant. Those of you who have read this blog for any length of time probably understand why I'm not terribly excited, but for those who think I am horrid, I will now give my explanation.
Before I continue I have to say this: I don't care how many children my girls decide they want. How many kids they can take care of and handle is their own decision. If they each want 24 kids, so be it--they won't be MY problem, I won't have to take care of them. God knew I could only handle having two kids, but that doesn't mean I think everyone should limit themselves to only two. To each his/her own, I say. Now, on to my explanation.
This is C's 7th pregnancy. Yes, I said 7th. And she doesn't do pregnancy well, to say the least. Here is the history:
My first granddaughter was born in July 1996. She was only 29 weeks and weighed 2lb, 7oz. She was brought to our town--we have the only regional medical center and NICU in the area--by ambulance, a trip of 100 miles. I was sure she was going to be dead by morning--I had never seen a baby look as sick as she did. She was released from the hospital before the date she was supposed to be born and is healthy, beautiful, and tremendously smart today.
My second granddaughter decided to stay in the womb longer. She was born in March 1999 and was 35 weeks and weighed 4lb, 13oz. She was an absolute giant compared to her sister! This one, too, is perfectly healthy, etc--but then, no problems were expected because she was only 5 weeks early.
Several years passed and C divorced her first husband. In November 2002, she gave birth to her third child--her first with her second husband. He was only 27 weeks and was stillborn.
Ten months after her stillborn child (September 2003), C gave birth to number four--a girl. She was born at 32 weeks and weighed 2lb, 7oz. While she was the same weight as her oldest sister, she WAS three weeks older and didn't look like a sick baby at all. She was just very, very small. She spent her time in the NICU, like her oldest sister did.
July 2004--10 months later--brought C's second boy. She managed to carry him to term. He was 7lb, 4oz. By this pregnancy, the doctors had decided on her problem: for some reason, the placentas would become full of clots and this would cause a 'failure to thrive' of the babies. For this pregnancy, she had to inject a blood thinner daily to counteract the clotting of the placenta. Problem solved, right? Wrong.
October 2005--15 months later--C gave birth to her last child. (C, once again, had to have daily injections during this pregnancy.) This was a girl and she was born at 34 weeks, weighing 3lb, 11oz. The ONLY reason the baby wasn't born earlier is because C was here in the hospital for about a month before the birth. Her water broke and, being a high-risk pregnancy, C was rushed to our hospital by ambulance. She was on complete bed rest for the month she was here. During this pregnancy, C had contracted viral meningitis and the doctors THINK this is what caused the early labor.
All of C's children--except for the stillborn, of course--are healthy and fine. She has been blessed and lucky that everything is okay. And here is where part of my not being happy comes into the picture: How long do you toss the dice and expect to keep winning? WHEN does your luck run out? Is THIS going to be the child that has severe problems?
Also, during and after the last pregnancy, C had her own problems. I still don't think the doctors figured out just what went wrong with her. I know she had trouble with blood clots, but beyond that, I don't know what else was wrong. And the doctors don't have an explanation for any of it. Here is the other reason I'm none too happy: What is all of this doing to C's health? What if she should have chronic health problems from this many pregnancies? What happens to all of her children if she died? (Yes, she has a husband, but kids need a mother, too.)
Over the last year and a half, C and I have talked about her health and pregnancies. She is well aware of my worries, as I haven't kept my mouth shut. I have tried to be as non-confrontational as possible and only told her of my fears in terms of my loving her and wanting everything good for her. She told me this 'probably' is her last pregnancy. I pray that this isn't the end of God smiling on her and that all goes well.
For any of you who pray, I ask that you remember C and her unborn child when you do. The next few months are going to be extremely hard for all of us--and, of course, hardest on C herself.
NOT Real Excited--And Here Is The Reason
