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With Somethin' Crazy on My Arm

"Comin' in the club with that fresh shit on, with something crazy on my arm. Uh-uh-um. Now here's another hit, Barry Bonds!" -Kanye

We have every reason to hate (read: jealously covet) the life and style of professional athletes. From the cribs to the rims, the benjies to the gyms. But, and this runs the risk of sounding both sexist and celeb gossip-ist, we all know what exhibits A and B are for why life is unfair: Adriana Lima and Eva Longoria. In similar vein, sports fans everywhere can now drool over one more athlete's arm piece (and these girls are athletes in their own right): it just came out that Jason Kidd's girlfriend Hope Dworaczyk will pose for Playboy.

"Oh my God. She's so hot. She's so hot she's making me sexist. Bitch." - Flight of the Conchords

In other news, however, we sports fans are given pause in our unremitting live-vicarious-through-our-idols agendas (Barash can bash me all he wants). You remember Kobe's wife Vanessa? You know, the one who came out as the victim in that whole Colorado ruckus. Turns out she's quite the shrew. She (and Kobe) is being sued by a former housekeeper for "among other things, sticking her hand in a bag of dog feces to retrieve a price tag." I mean, just a glitteringly pleasant person by all accounts. This, however, brings to light a whole new side of Kobe. He's perhaps the quirkiest superstar ever (see: commercial below), and we know he hates that dog poop. We also know he's a smart guy, always immaculate, always polished in speech to the point of being clipped and sometimes taciturn. So, he's an enigma. That's not new knowledge. But how does such an enigma deal with such a cliche as a spoiled, wannabe diva for a wife? Can you imagine what a reality TV show would be like with that family? It gives me new sympathy for Kobe, and every star athlete who has a wife that thinks money is an excuse to act like a total...well, you know where I'm going with that.


"Find harmony in the key of in your face." Indeed.

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