I'm sorry to have to break the news to everyone, but celebrity super-couple Peaches Geldof and Eli Roth have canceled their plans to get hitched. I know! I can hardly believe it either! They seemed so promising: she, a British tabloid fixture whose occupation (model? presenter? writer?) eludes me, and he, the man credited for giving birth to "torture porn." Maybe it was the age gap; she's 21, and he's 38. Publicly, sources are saying they split because of work obligations. About this, I am dubious. In any case, I'm going to need at least 48 hours to recover from this astonishing turn of events. [The Mirror]
