So I'm definitely in the summer doldrums slump, but sports goes on. I'm not invested enough in baseball or football to care enough right now, so I've fallen to watching pro wrestling like I was 14 again. Let me say that it was 1998 when I was 14, as in right in the thick of the nWo, Monday night wars, and invasion storylines that drove the Attitude Era. Suffice it to say, things are different now. I've heard the current era called "the PG era," and it's just one more thing going slack during the recession. Still, things have to happen. Life doesn't stop long enough to always be interesting (though we try to make it so).
Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, and newly (almost) heel-turned CM Punk seem to be ushering in an age of heel dominance. The popular "faces" are not showing long term potential, as Jeffy Hardy is rumored not to be returning when his contract expires and Rey Mysterio, Jr. has pretty much peaked story-wise as the lovable little-guy/luchador. (A pairing with...Dolph Ziggler? Wait, who?) It's a sad state of a "sport" when the plus-40s are running it, as Shawn Michaels, Rick Flair, Brett Hart (all inactive at the moment), and the Undertaker are looked at to revive fan interest as we head towards Summer Slam. (Check out the FDH series on ideal events for a long view towards 'Mania 26) You could see it at Night of Champions, though I didn't (why pay per view when you can pick up the essentials on Youtube?). WWE doesn't have a hold on their fanbase's reactions.
Specifics aside, I thought about writing something a little thoughtful, a little Epochryphal, but it's been done already, and I'm not energetic enough to do the legwork necessary for a new spin on it all. If you didn't catch it, and you're interested in further reading, former McMahon foil Paul Heyman has a great piece up on The Heyman Hustle about how WWE screwed up five years ago and how the lack of talent influx is leading to the...well, lack of talent. And weak storylines. And there's no real competition making WWE push itself. Although, in my opinion, I think pro wrestling needs to take MMA, UFC stuff as a serious competitor if not a potential conqueror. See: Brock Lesnar's UFC 100 show, as well as Shaq's bid to compete with Lesnar. We'll get back to Shaq, but the last idea it's important to take away from Heyman's thoughts: Japanese wrestling. The Japan circuits have always been big. What I'd love to see is a bit of a recreation of what pro wrestling looks like. Bring in some of the talented Japanese wrestlers already performing stateside, especially in a kind of Invasion story line...though that might get a litte racist-undertones questionable. Never mind. Just a thought.
Instead of getting serious, though five paragraphs in maybe it's too late not to be serious, I want to give a little heads up for any cross-over fans that may be attracted by Shaq's presence at Raw. In the spirit of the cross-over, what I want to do with the rest of this post is compare the 12 wrestlers from Night of Champions to 12 NBA Players. I didn't write about the ECW guys because, well, I don't care about ECW. And 'care' is a relative word here...
Randy Orton is Ron Artest:I wanted to start with Orton because I feel like he has to be a major player in the WWE's future. He's still young, but he's already one of the most important names, and he's got a great hook for potential story lines. He's evil, a viper. He's the Legend Killer. And he hears voices. With the snakey moniker and the sinuous fluidity of his game, you might think Kobe here, but the Mamba's too established. We got with Kob's new teammate Ron-Ron instead, because Orton and Artest both seem to assasinate the competition while marching
to the beat of a different drummer. Artest is stepping in to the big time lights and the thought is Orton should be doing the same. Artest also has some questionable friends from his past. I really wish Orton's connection to Legacy would go away.Triple H is Kobe Bryant:
Speaking of Mr. 81, he's the perfect comparison for the Game. They've both been around for awhile and they're both consumate competitors. Furthermore, Triple H isn't the biggest guy around; he's not slouch, but he's more Kobe than Lebron if you get what I mean. He's the Cerebral Assasin, and what label is more perfectly suited for Kobe? Of course, with Triple H's marriage to the owner's daughter, he might have more in common with Phil Jackson, but that's another story.
John Cena is Lebron James:
Might as well finish out the Night of Champions triumvirate with a comparison to the King. Both Lebron and Cena have been groomed to be headliners, but both have seemed to slip a bit recently. Everyone's probably familiar with James' gaffes, so I won't revisit them here (oh wait, how 'bout a link? The wonder of the interweb!). Cena just doesn't seem to work up a crowd anymore. So, though Lebron probably has more potential at this point, with his summer of slip ups, his personality's begging for this comparison.
Jeffy Hardy is Paul Pierce:
He's an enigma, but really he's not that hard to understand. A fan favorite. A guy living out his dream as new champion. With the exuberance and high-flying game, I thought Dwight Howard right off the bat. Hardy's had a bit more of a path to the top, though, in which case Paul Pierce is the right comparison. Get out of here with the KG stuff, because Pierce has been steadier when it comes to career rises and falls and fan devotion. After winning that championship, KG became a bit of a questionable character, as he dogged lesser opponents. I can't see Hardy ever doing that. At least, here's hoping.
CM Punk is Dwight Howard:Punk doesn't ooze athleticism like Howard, but when you look at Punk's straight-edge angle the baby-faced Howard necessarily comes to mind. When he came out, Howard looked like the second coming of stars of old we didn't know we were missing. He also had that whole God thing going for awhile, until that illegitimate child un-did that. Punk becomes the comparison here as his straight-edge angle is souring quickly. Similar to Lebron, Dwight made a few missteps on his way to the NBA finals, most notably calling out his coach and getting suspended for rough play. To top it all off, of course, his team won without him. I don't think the WWE would be better off with Punk, but we'll see. Of course, the WWE and NBA are different animals, as heels are actually valued in pro wrestling as I've contended they should be in pro basketball.
Rey Mysterio, Jr. is Chris Paul:
Do I even need to explain this one? They both have incredible control over their games and both can scare up a rabid following out of thin air (or howling, levee breaking air as it were). Mr. 619 is always pitted against the giants, and Chris Paul has shown considerable propensity for tackling the NBA's pillars, like taking the Spurs to the brink in the second round of 2008's playoffs. And, really, does it have to be more complicated than knowing both could easily play the role of unassuming overachiever at a family barbecue? I can just see it now.
Dolph Ziggler is Deron Williams:Just kidding.
John Morrison is Kevin Durant:
I know Morrison wasn't on Sunday's Night of Champions ticket, but he looks to be the next face promoted, so I'm including him here. He's got the title match against Jeff Hardy on this Friday's Smackdown. I couldn't resist the comparison with Durantula, as they're both the veritable new kids to the adults' table, both have a nice set of good moves, and both have had some nice victories in their still young careers. With Hardy possibly taking a break from WWE, Morrison might be Punk's next rival, which could play quite well. Both Morrison and Durant haven't really shown audiences their true personalities, but they've both shown enough ability that we're intrigued.
Legacy are Coby Karl and Mike Dunleavy, Jr.:Seriously, maybe Ted DiBiase, Jr. and Cody Rhodes are decent wrestlers, but I'm just tired of them. I mean, is DiBiase a wrestler or the idiot boyfriend from Wedding Crashers? And why did I enjoy his father's one night turn on Raw more than anything he's ever done? Jeez Legacy, get off the jockstraps of your fathers. I threw in Coby Karl for the whole father thing, but really Legacy are more like the Indiana Pacers. They're nice pieces (and, really, Granger is great, but he doesn't make me care), but they're still waiting for their Orton to show up.
Chris Jericho is Kevin Garnett:
Forget that Jericho has faced down some of the biggest names of his era and come away with a whole handful of championships, whereas KG only has the one. Jericho's going through a stage where he's trying to make the tag team genre matter, an initiative you can also see WWE pushing in Cena and Triple H teaming up against Orton and Legacy. KG didn't get that ring 'til he teamed up with the Truth. Furthermore, Jericho spent a good deal of his career being very well liked, but is not completing a full scale heel turn. We saw signs of the same from KG last season.
At this point in his career, Shaq really only bears comparison to the laughably large guys in WWE. Shaq is probably past his Kane days (Kane's been looking good, but he needs a real match-up for crying out loud), and he does dip into the whole Great Khali-esque fiasco, but Big Show really is an apt comparison. Paul Heyman says Big Show is actually great at breaking new faces, and Shaq has done that throughout his career, from Penny Hardaway to Kobe, to Dwayne Wade, and now on to Lebron James. With the Big Show, it's hard to tell if he's a heel or a ham. Shaq suffers from the same dichotomy. Lastly, of course, if Shaq were to call himself the Big Show, it'd be one in what seems like a thousand names he's called himself including the word 'Big.'
Now the Big Question (can we get Allen Iverson on growth hormones to be the Big Answer?) is will Shaq get in the ring with Big Show Monday night? Or maybe he'll bring Brock Lesnar in with him! Anyway, two-ish months before NBA training camps get going. Lol.
