Again, I have to thank Not Always Right for this one:
Customer: “My cable box is broken.”
Me: “What seems to be the issue?”
Customer: “Roughly every 1 minute the channel goes up. I tried turning it off and on, I tried unplugging it, I made sure no one was sitting on the remote, nothing works, you guys gave me a broken box!”
Me: “What does it currently show on the front of the box sir?”
Customer: “Channel 932.”
Me: “And what time is it sir?”
Customer: “9:32. Oh.” *hangs up*
AND:
Me: “Hello, you’re through to [Broadband Company]. How can I help?”
Customer: “I’m a new customer and I’d like some help with setting up my router. I can’t get the broadband to work.”
Me: “Of course I can help you. If you want to start by turning your computer on, we’ll see what we can do.”
Customer: “What computer?”
Me: “Sir, you need a computer to access the internet with this router.”
Customer: “No one told me that.”
Me: “Sir, how do you expect to access the internet without a computer?”
Customer: “So you’re saying I have to buy a computer? That’s another expense!” *hangs up*
