Not Always Right

I found this story on the site Not Always Right--and it made me laugh.  Hope you enjoy.

(I have albinism, so I have very pale skin, white hair, and red irises.)
Me: “Hi. What can I get for you?”
Customer: “Are…are you a vampire?”
Me: “Well, my dad is half-vampire.” *laughing*
Customer: “Please, don’t bite me.”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m not going to bite you.”
Customer: “Don’t put any blood in my food either. I don’t want to be a vampire.”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m not going to put blood in your food. I’m not a vampire. We serve regular food here.”
Customer: “Let me speak to your manager.”
(I go and get my manager, and fill him in on what’s going on.)
Customer, to my manager: “Is your vampire waitress going to bite me?”
Manager: “Only if you don’t tip her well.”
(The woman looks completely horrified, but finally ends up ordering and leaving me a 21% tip.)

How can people be so damn stupid?

Read More

REALLY??? I Mean, REALLY??????

According to a mental_floss tweet earlier today:

"The Journal of Animal Ethics says the term 'pets' should be replaced by 'companion animals.'  'Owners' should be 'human carers.'"

What?  Are we afraid we'll hurt their feelings if we call them pets?  I love my cat, but REALLY????  I think some people have too much time on their hands AND need to get lives.

Read More

I Would Own A Gun, But...

We just got back from a several day road trip.  While this doesn't REALLY have much to do with the rest of this post, I must give a little update on what we did.  This was our trip to go and see the play 'Wicked.'  I have only one word for the experience:  WOW!!!  Words just aren't enough to say how much I enjoyed the play and performances--ESPECIALLY the performances.  I'm not sure I would have loved this as much if the part of the Wicked Witch would have been played by someone other than the girl who was in Tuesday's performance, because she was absolutely amazing.  I don't know when I have heard such a powerful voice come out of such a (relatively) tiny body.  But, this amazing time began with our traveling and my wanting to own a gun...

I've said on more than one occasion that there are two reasons why K won't 'let' me own a gun.  First, he'd be very afraid that he wouldn't see his next birthday if I had a gun at my disposal and, two, if I didn't do him in, he would be afraid that I would leave a long line of drivers dead by the side of the road.  And Monday gave me a good indication of how right he is to be afraid--some drivers don't deserve to LIVE, much less have licenses.

I sleep whenever we travel.  It all started when I was kid and had car sickness:  The sleeping helped keep me from getting nauseous.  Sleeping had/has become such a habit with me, that I continue to do it to this day.  I have told K that I HAVE to sleep because he makes me so nervous with his driving--and he IS a good driver, I'm just a nervous passenger.  I found out on Monday that I need to sleep just so I don't have to experience the OTHER drivers on the road.  I usually sleep until we are within a mile of our destination, but on Monday I woke much earlier than usual, so I got to see what goes on when I'm passed out.  And it was more than a little frightening.  As I was stretching and attempting to clear the cobwebs from my sleepy mind, I began to pay attention to what was going on around us.  And there are some drivers--most?--who should not be on the road.  This is what I saw in a mile-long stretch as we were racing down the interstate at 70+ MPH...

• The first driver I noticed was hugging the center line and I pointed her out to K, while telling him to watch out.  As we passed her, I saw she was fixing her hair as she drove down the highway.  Now, she wasn't just moving her hair around, she was fluffing and combing and straightening and patting her hair with BOTH hands.  WITHOUT any hands on the steering wheel.  No wonder she couldn't keep the car moving in a straight line.
• The very next car we passed was being driven by a guy, who I am CONVINCED is a serial killer.  I SWEAR, when he glanced at me, that I saw flames shoot out of his eyeballs.  And I KNOW he would've ended my life with just a little more than a look, if he wanted.  I'm completely sure his picture is hanging in the post office...he was very, very scary.
• And finally, the third car we passed was being driven by a guy, also.  Now, 'driven' probably isn't the proper term for what he was doing, because I have no idea HOW he was steering this vehicle.  The first thing I noticed about him was that he had an iPad in his left hand and he was reading it.  Yeah, while going down the highway.  BUT that wasn't all.  He also had a cellphone squished between his right ear and shoulder and was talking on it.  And it gets better.  He was WRITING on a pad of paper with his right hand.  I know, I MUST have seen wrong.  Nope.  I looked more than once just to make sure I saw what I saw and didn't imagine it.  I have no idea how he steered the car--and I don't know if I WANT to know.

So, in the space of one mile, if I had a gun, I would have shot and killed three people.  Maybe K has a point and I WOULDN'T be a responsible gun owner.

Read More

Not To Besmirch An Entire Profession...

I'm not a fan of lawyers.  It's really funny why I would feel this way, because I have never known any personally until two of our nieces became lawyers.  I won't go on about either of them, but they DO seem pretty full of themselves, so my opinion of the profession hasn't been changed because of them.  Suffice it to say, there just seems to be a bit more smarminess with lawyers these days, than in the past--although they never have been held in much better esteem than used car salesmen.

One of the ways that lawyers have been making sure that their popularity ISN'T rising, is with the commercials bombarding us day and night.  Especially the ones about drug side-effects.  Now, don't get me wrong, there have been some horrible consequences that have occurred from medical malpractice, but if you only listened to these commercials, you would think that the medical profession has NEVER done anything right--and have put almost every person at risk but prescribing bad meds.  And these lawyers try to drum up business for their class-action lawsuits by airing commercials every ten minutes or so--and they do this by instilling fear.  The commercials talk about blood clots, depression, heart problems, etc--anything that could make you run screaming to the nearest attorney to demand justice for the suffering that you have endured.  But one commercial in particular has me absolutely shaking my head:

This commercial is for a medication and the announcer says:

"If you or a loved one has suffered death, heart attack, or stroke..."*

EXCUSE ME!  If I have suffered DEATH, I wouldn't be sitting here listening to this foolish commercial!!!!!   Believe me, with all of the lawyers to choose from, if I needed one, this particular firm would NOT be of my choosing.  If you can't even make a commercial that is worded better than this, what chance do you have of getting me a settlement worth big, big bucks?  Give me a break.


*And yes, I UNDERSTAND what it is they are trying to say.  I just feel it is unfortunate when someone who uses words for a living cannot be a slight bit clearer in this instance.

 

Read More

Sometimes I want to Unfollow EVERYONE

There are two people on Twitter that I follow that REALLY give me pains in the ass sometimes.  One is a woman in her early 40s--never married.  The other is a guy in his late 30s--never married.  They have long conversations with each other and it seems as if they are 'feeling each other out' and it wouldn't surprise me if they got together at some point.  Anyway, they REALLY drive me crazy when they get started.

First of all, the woman knows EVERYTHING!  She is a 'scientist' (a lab tech) and is knowledgeable about every subject known--and unknown--to modern man.  She is constantly correcting people and tweeting obscure scientific facts--mainly to make herself look better, IMHO.  One day, she tweeted something very condescending about her political opposites and I gently called her on it.  She hasn't 'talked' to me since then.  But I don't mind her ignoring me--I never thought we would ever be 'friends.'

The guy I 'know' because of our being fans of the Red Wings--as is the woman.  I really appreciate his hockey knowledge and devour every word he writes on his blog.  And he seems to be a kind person--I think he should RUN and not walk away from the woman.  But when he and this woman get started...

One night the two of them started on the Vietnam War--and they were barely born (if even) while it was going on.  They went on and on about what 'Dad' said about those years, or how 'Mom' protested the war--and the entire time as if THEY were the ones who experienced those years.  And then they got on the military.  AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!  Even though I never was IN the military, I was a military wife--and I didn't KNOW as much as they 'did' during the conversation.  I hate anyone who is an 'authority' about things they know NOTHING about--and think they know more than people who actually experienced the event, just because someone 'told' them about it.  I guess this bothered me so much because I have such a roller coaster-of-feelings about that time.  Those years were so very hard to get through and my feelings about what happened seem to change as I get older.  Anyone who never lived through those times CANNOT, with any certainty, KNOW beyond any doubt what went on.  But, I was good and never said a word to either of them.

Tonight, the two of them started up about women's rights--including reproductive health.  Again, the condescending tone of the conversation just appalled me.  It was implied that 'working class' people aren't progressive or smart enough to have equality in a marriage.  That the only women that are worthy of respect are those who worked outside of the home.  That anyone who doesn't want to do something against their conscience--as in pharmacists and other medical personnel--are small-minded and stupid.  Women who 'depend' on a man to 'take care of them' are idiots.  And this was NOT a private conversation!

Okay, I will admit that I am a bit sensitive when it comes to each subject.  K was on his way to Vietnam when the war was de-escalated, so I have a biased point of view.  (His orders were changed at the last minute and he didn't get there.)  Also, I lost close friends and had family and friends 'do their time' over there.  As I said, my opinion on the entire thing is very much a roller coaster ride, so I can't stand anyone--especially those who didn't experience it--to be black-and-white about it.  I think everyone who lived through those years will admit to having mixed feelings.

And I don't believe I have ever let my feelings be hidden about my stay-at-home status.  I have never felt like a lesser person because I didn't leave the house daily and bring home a paycheck, but far too many people actually believe the only way for someone to prove their worth is by what they get paid.  These two, also, seemed to feel that there could not be any equality in a marriage if the woman didn't work, didn't have her 'own' money.  I do feel sorry for people who 'know' all about relationships without getting to know the people involved.  For example, the money K earns is OUR money--we share it equally.  Not only do I discuss how I want to spend it, but HE discusses how HE will spend money, also.  Neither one of us needs the other's 'permission,' but we will defer to the other if it is determined that we can't afford something.  And just because I don't go out and work, it doesn't mean I don't have a job.  Oh, there are times I feel unappreciated, but I KNOW I truly AM appreciated for what I do.  And I AM respected for the things I do.

The bottom line to all of this is that I probably should unfollow these people.  But I just feel sorry for them--they are really limiting themselves by not trying to understand things they really know nothing about--and I think that makes THEM small minded.  So, I will continue to keep them in my 'follow' column and just ignore them when they go off like this.

Read More

Police Log

Okay, so I wasn't expecting to do another police log post so soon, but this one HAD to be done.  First, realize that this was at 9:58 IN. THE. MORNING!  This was on New Year's Day.  And the car was parked not very far from where The Husband works--a VERY public place.

--9:58 AM, couple in small gray car not using much discretion, gone on arrival

Can anyone say, "GET A ROOM?"

Read More

More Government At Work

Our house was moved to this lot from another place in the city, well over 40 years ago.  I believe the people who moved the house also owned many of the lots to the east of us--and that is why our house is 'illegally' positioned on our lot.  We are just a couple of feet from the eastern-most lot line--a situation that is only allowed because we were 'grandfathered' in when laws/ordinances were put into place.  So, this was why our neighbor's driveway was directly under my bedroom window.  As a matter of fact, if they parked at the very edge of their driveway, I could have (almost) reached out and touched their vehicle from my window.  While it wasn't ideal--and it could be a bit noisy, at times--over the course of 30+ years, I learned to live with the way things were.  Our street steadily declines from west to east, so the neighbors were able to put up a retaining wall on the other side of the narrow driveway and put another driveway directly in front of their house--on a level with their basement.  With multiple vehicles and parking ordinances, all vehicles have to be off of the streets at night during the winter, so the added driveway was a necessity for them.  And this summer, things changed and that is why I am using the past tense.  So, on to the rest of the story...

After all of these years, the neighbors finally decided to put up a garage.  They own the lots to their east, so the garage was built on the side away from our house.  They got the proper permits, etc, so the city was well aware of what they were doing.  Because our neighbor did the work himself, it took most of the summer to complete the building.  About a month ago, the city was called to come and do the final inspection.  That was when the 'wisdom' of our government shone so very brightly--as happens so very often.

With the building of the garage, a new driveway was put into place.  This meant that the property--THREE lots wide--now had three driveways.  And the city had a meltdown over this.  How DARE our neighbors try to have THREE driveways on their property--which just happens to border up against the dead end street we live on.  They were told that one of the driveways MUST be DESTROYED and grass MUST be planted and growing before the snow falls.  NO discussion, NO exception.  Our neighbors' protestations and explanations meant nothing.  They asked if, at the very least, they could keep the curbing from having to be placed in front of the space where the driveway was closest to us.  As they explained, the door on this side of the house is 36"--the width needed to bring an appliance or over-sized piece of furniture into their house--and the door on the other side was only 32".  This argument fell on deaf ears--as the city told them, "Those moving trucks have NO problem driving over the curb, so it must be installed."  Unbelievable.

As far as I know, there was no good explanation as to why they were not allowed to have three driveways.  If they own that many lots, why CAN'T they?  If they wanted to pave over their entire property, why not let them?  It is getting too sad when EVERYTHING is so regulated--and yet, the entire country seems to be going into the dumper.  I don't have answers to how things could be changed for the better, but I certainly don't think regulating such piddly things is going to make things better any time soon.

Read More

Politically Speaking

I don't really do politics.  I find most politics/politicians petty and childish and I avoid it/them like the plague.  While I make sure I vote, I usually don't even think about who or what I'm voting for until just before the November election.  Until then, I just want to be left alone--which definitely doesn't happen.

A couple of weeks ago, I was bombarded with the fact that we are having primary elections with a front page story in our newspaper.  And the story was revisited the other day.  And frankly, I find it quite unbelievable on some level.

If Jimmy Carter decided to make another run at being president, in the state of Michigan he wouldn't be allowed to put the term 're-elect' on his posters/signs--it is against the law.*  We have a guy that is seeking office--an office he has held twice before.  He does NOT hold the office presently, but his signs read "Re-elect John Doe."  This is against the law--and the signs were 'reported.'  So, he went around and put duct tape over the 'Re' on the signs so that he would be in compliance with the law.  All of this is just absolutely ridiculous, as far as I'm concerned.  (And I'm not even sure if I would/will vote for 'John Doe.'  I believe I may NOT be one of his supporters.)  Politics and the absurd--a match made in heaven.

*I don't know if this law is for federal elections or just state/local ones.  Also, I have no idea if this is a law in every state, or not.

Read More

More 'Not Always Right'

Yeah, I think some people are too dumb to be allowed to reproduce.  Case in point:

(A customer walks in with 5 magazines under her arm.)
Customer: “Hi, how much does it cost to laminate one A4 page?”
Me: “That’ll be $0.10.”
Customer: “Great and um, about how many pages are in a magazine?”
Me: “I’d say about 100.”
Customer: “Great, so 100 multiplied by five is 500 hundred right?”
Me: “Yes, it is.”
Customer: “So 500 multiplied by $0.10 would be $50.00 right?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am.”
Customer: “Yeah so can you like, laminate each page in the magazine?”
Me: “Why would you want to do that?”
Customer: “So I can read them in the bath.”

via Not Always Right.

Read More

Okay, This Is Creepy

I'm not sure who actually decided that clowns should be marketed for kids, but I think it's time that this practice stops.  Most clowns are NOT kid-friendly--actually, they are rather creepy and scary.  And for anyone who ever saw the movie 'It,' then they are REALLY scary!  This is why this story just baffles the hell out of me.

mental_floss posted a story of 'Evil Clown.'  Evil Clown can be hired by parents to stalk and threaten kids for the week leading up to their birthdays and, at some time during the seven days, smash a birthday cake in the kid's face.  If the kid avoids the cake-smash, it is given to him/her as a birthday gift.  (The entire story, along with a picture, can be read here.)  And this is supposed to be fun, because "most kids absolutely love being scared senseless."

I will have to take exception to the previous quote.  I don't know about you, but I never would consider being stalked, being sent threatening emails/texts, receiving prank phone calls, and having traps set in my mailbox as fun.  And I'M an adult!  I can't imagine what a kid would think if these things were happening to him.  I would imagine psychologists would think this is a great idea because there are going to be MANY kids needing therapy if this catches on.  Good grief--the things people think of.

Read More

Vajazzling

I KNOW I'm out of the loop. I KNOW I'm a hick. I KNOW I don't pay much attention to things that aren't hockey. But HOW did I miss this one? Vajazzling. As in 'adding Swarovski crystals to your lady bits.' Yeah. If you need to read some more, you can find an article here. Now I know for sure: If I live long enough, I WILL have heard everything.

Read More

People Are So, So Stupid

Again, I have to thank Not Always Right for this one:

Customer: “My cable box is broken.”

Me: “What seems to be the issue?”

Customer: “Roughly every 1 minute the channel goes up. I tried turning it off and on, I tried unplugging it, I made sure no one was sitting on the remote, nothing works, you guys gave me a broken box!”

Me: “What does it currently show on the front of the box sir?”

Customer: “Channel 932.”

Me: “And what time is it sir?”

Customer: “9:32. Oh.” *hangs up*

AND:

Me: “Hello, you’re through to [Broadband Company]. How can I help?”

Customer: “I’m a new customer and I’d like some help with setting up my router. I can’t get the broadband to work.”

Me: “Of course I can help you. If you want to start by turning your computer on, we’ll see what we can do.”

Customer: “What computer?”

Me: “Sir, you need a computer to access the internet with this router.”

Customer: “No one told me that.”

Me: “Sir, how do you expect to access the internet without a computer?”

Customer: “So you’re saying I have to buy a computer? That’s another expense!” *hangs up*

Read More

Not Always Right

And this story is NOT from the website.


The Youngest works at the Northside Animal Clinic. Down the street from them is McDonald Animal Hospital. Yesterday, the following happened.

A couple walked in with their (obviously new) puppy.

Woman: Hi. We're the Smith's and we have a 2:30 appointment.
Youngest (after checking the schedule): I'm sorry, but you aren't listed. You probably wanted the McDonald Animal Hospital down the street.
Woman (glaring at The Youngest): This IS the McDonald Animal Hospital!
Youngest: *speechless*

Read More

Not Always Right

One of the stupidest, but funniest, things I have ever read:

Me: “Thank you for calling [clinic], how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like to know how much it is to descent my cat. He was a stray that was eating our other cats’ food and we decided to keep him.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We can’t de-scent a cat. He may be spraying to mark his territory, and if he is, we can neuter him.”

Customer: “I assure you my cat has scent glands! He backs up to furniture, marks them, and if you startle him, he will turn around and try to mark you! And he’s mean too! If you try to come near him, he growls and tries to bite.”

Me: “Ma’am, cats don’t spray when startled usually. Are you sure it’s a cat?”

Customer: “Well, yes.”

Me: “What color is it, ma’am?”

Customer: “Black and white.”

Me: “What do his markings look like?”

Customer: “All black with two white stripes down its back.”

Me: “Ma’am, that is not a cat. That is a skunk.”

Customer: “Well, you have obviously never seen a cat before!” *hangs up*

via Not Always Right

Read More

Waiting For The Implosion

And we STILL have to hear about Michael Jackson 432 days after he died? Good grief.

Anyway, it seems that his family--who has exploited his death beyond belief--now are upset because yesterday's interment service has been widely reported by the media. The family drive from Encino to Glendale was televised AND the family had invited some cameramen to record the star-studded service, yet they were dismayed at the intrusiveness of the media. Can this family GET any crazier? I thought after the King of the Crazies died, things would calm down, but it's not to be. Seems as if there are more than enough nuts in this family to take his place--and we aren't talking La Toya, surprisingly!

Read More

Let's Do Some Rambling

K had an appointment with his nephrologist and internist today--mainly because of his gout. The bottom line: everything HEALTHY that we have done to try and make our diets better are now the things that are bad for him! He has to avoid dairy, whole grains (mainly wheat,) nuts, beans/legumes--all high phosphorus foods. This includes cola, chocolate, and beer. Because he had another flare-up this morning, he now has CHRONIC gout and not just acute episodes. And he is now going to have to take yet another medication from now on. This will REALLY make us change our lifestyle.

**********

A little over a week ago we saw the neighbor's cat carrying something--its prey--from our yard. To me, it looked like our baby rabbit. I haven't seen the rabbit since then, so I probably was right. If the hawk had taken the rabbit, so be it--that is the circle of life. But I can't handle having an animal that isn't even supposed to be unleashed do this. It is just, plain wrong.

**********

I realize I have been suffering from hockey withdrawal--and it has been in a very, very big way. I have taken to watching baseball every chance I get. As I told The Youngest: people have to worry about me if I ever start watching football. If that was to happen, we can all expect the Apocalypse to occur very soon. (The Tigers are doing very well and are in the pennant race. I even have my favorite players already. Please don't let me become obssessed about this!)

**********

There are some that will deny that fall is here. I have no doubt that we are experiencing fall. We live just a couple of blocks from the high school and the marching band is practicing for the football season. I can hear the music from my living room and bedroom. Both of my girls were in marching band, so I KNOW the sounds of fall--and these are it.

**********

(I'm not a Sarah Palin supporter and I don't hate her like a lot of people do. However, I don't think anyone should have to read what a puke like this kid has to say about them--in a national magazine, at that.)

So Levi Johnston--you know, the baby daddy of Sarah Palin's grandchild--has been paid by Vanity Fair for 'his story.' And tell it he does. At least it seems that way. I haven't--and won't--read the article. There are many reports and 'blurbs' from the article, and it is not pretty. Suffice it to say, he doesn't come across as anything more than a spoiled teenage boy who would probably say anything for his 15 minutes of fame--and the odd amount of money he got for this. This whole thing is so bad that someone commented on the story titled "Surprise: Even MSNBC thinks Levi Johnston's a lying scumbag":

"What a pathetic little boy. You know you’ve lost it when even MSNBC has tired of your Sarah schtick."

Is there any doubt that he is being manipulated to say the worst things he can come up with? Or IS this just about the money? I wonder who his handlers are? Hopefully, this is his last hurrah.

**********

And as of today, we are one month away from the first game of the 2009-10 NHL hockey season. The Wings open their season by playing St Louis twice in Sweden. The day can't come fast enough for me!

Read More

Bear Update

Around 6:00 PM on Wednesday, we received a call saying the bear was wandering around a neighbor's yard. Our block is bordered on two sides by a thick stand of trees/woods, so that is where the bear probably has been hiding. K went out to sit with one of our neighbors with the hopes of getting a picture of the bear--didn't happen. And the number one reason it didn't happen was what K was afraid: people wandering around looking for the bear. I guess the word went out and the 'woods' were crawling with people--there even was a woman pushing/pulling a baby stroller out there. I can't believe people.

So far, we have heard no word on whether or not a trap has been called for. I guess if the bear becomes a nuisance, or enough people call the city, the DNR--or whoever--will come out. Just what I'm waiting for.

Read More

???????

Obviously, I don't share the way a great many people feel, but I have to ask: What the hell is this country/world coming to? Have you watched any television today? Have you even had your television on? Every other channel is devoted to Michael Jackson. While the coverage of all of this has been absolutely ridiculous up to now, today is even worse--if you can believe it. I. DON'T. GET. IT. He didn't find the cure for some disease, he didn't have great wisdom to explain the meaning of life, he didn't save the world from any of the ills that are here, he didn't contribute anything significant but some songs and videos, and yet he is being deified and glorified more than any leader--governmental or religious--that I have ever seen. He was a man who groped himself in public and probably did the same to little boys in private--just WHAT is there to admire about him. I hope someone has enough guts--and doesn't look for the money the family will pay to keep quiet--to come out and tell the truth. Because, the truth IS out there.

Read More

You Think???????

At the top of our street, a sign like the one above has been placed. This, of course, has to do with the fact that our road is still torn up and it is very difficult to drive on. The stupid thing about the sign? We live on a dead end, so there has NEVER been any thru traffic EVER! Stupidity at its finest. :D

Read More

One For 'Not Always Right'

I am a big fan of the website Not Always Right, so when I get an example from one of my own kids, I'm delighted!



On Thursday, The Youngest answered a phone call at the animal clinic where she works. The client wanted to make an appointment for her dog and Youngest set the time as 2:15 PM on Friday. Friday morning, Youngest had this phone conversation:

Youngest: ******** Animal Clinic. How may I help you?

Client: I am calling to find out if you are open this afternoon. My dog has a 2:15 appointment and I just wanted to be sure you all will be there.

Youngest: *?*



And she said this was quite a typical phone call. :D

Read More