The Tale Of Two Centers In Orlando

It was fifteen years ago that the Magic’s first bigger-than-life superstar packed his bags and descended to the opposite end of the country to Los Angeles.

While the destination might not be the same, a departure ticket out of Orlando might be on standby for their current franchise big man.

For the first time since becoming regulars in the playoffs in 2008, the Orlando Magic were vanquished out of the postseason by the Atlanta Hawks in six games. Even with Dwight Howard’s outstanding performance and dominance throughout the series, the Hawks proved they had the better roster and more firepower in their arsenal than the Magic’s one huge, powerful cannon.

Which begs the question for Howard: can this organization get back to being an NBA Finals contender or will that only be achievable in another uniform?

Shaquille O’Neal understood that fact after his four-year tenure with the team that drafted him number one in 1992. During that time, his team reached the playoffs in three of those four seasons, along with two trips to the Eastern Conference Finals and one visit to the NBA Finals. Yet, they never captured the title despite having, arguably, the best center in the league.

It wasn’t until he left that he finally became a champion.

The Magic let their center go to the Lakers via free agency in 1996. From that point on, it seemed as if having O’Neal penciled in as the starting center gave any team instant championship credibility. He would go on to win three titles in Los Angeles and one title with the Miami Heat. His time in the Magic organization appeared to be an illusion when compared to his time with franchises he played on in his prime simply because he never won a title with them.

Orlando themselves fell into dark times during the O’Neal-dominance period in the NBA, as they frantically altered their roster numerous times from 1996-2004 in hopes of rebuilding the franchise into the contender they once were. They tried running it through Anfernee Hardaway, who never became the sensation he was projected to be. They then handed the reins of the team to Grant Hill and Tracy McGrady, but both were hampered by injuries and could never get the Magic past the second round of the post season.

Then came the Howard era in Orlando.

Orlando made him the first pick in 2004 and he has now become an immense presence in the league and for his team. A specimen with a body that is only usually seen on comic book super heroes, the straight-out-of-high-school draftee has that unusual combination of size and speed that only one other player in recent history has possessed: O’Neal. As O’Neal’s labeling as the best center in the league is nearing the end of his tenure, Howard is quickly taking over the helm of that title with his improved offensive ability and post game to go along with his domineering interior defense.

Along with his look and ability on the court was the near replica of franchise production during both of their tenures. In seven seasons with the Magic, Howard has taken his team to five playoff appearances, two Conference Finals trips, and one NBA Finals. Yet, he has only been successful in winning one of the Conference Finals and losing the other, as well as getting beat by the Lakers in the 2008 NBA Finals.

Now with this season’s first round loss to the Hawks (in which the Magic were favored and had home court advantage), the question entering Howard’s mind has got to be where does he go from here?

Now at the age of 25 and having already played seven years in the league at this point, all the seven-footer wants is to taste the glory of being called a champion in the NBA. At this point in his career, being called the best center in the league is nothing without the trophy placed next to it.

That was even more evident after the 2010 summer free agency hoopla and the rise of powerhouses in the East going for it all.

LeBron James and Chris Bosh jumped ship from the teams that drafted them to join Dwayne Wade and the Heat to form a core destined to win multiple titles. Carlos Boozer signed with Chicago to play with Derrick Rose in hopes of being a part of an upstart dynasty. Amar’e Stoudemire signed up with New York and eventually was joined by Carmelo Anthony and Chauncey Billups to create a formidable young core that will contend in their conference as well.

On the other hand, the Magic have shredded their roster time and time again since they drafted Howard in hopes of equipping their star with the right parts to win a title. Not only have their decisions done little to providing their center with a group that can win a championship, but the constant changes have given him literally no stability in developing chemistry or confidence they have a winner.

As a Magic, Howard has got to feel as if his organization resembles some sort of revolving door with the way players are brought in and quickly let out. He has seen Grant Hill, Trevor Ariza, Rashard Lewis, Vince Carter, and Hedo Turkoglu (who then was traded back to the team early this season) brought in as assets to aide Howard in bringing a title to Orlando. All they provided him was more concern and doubt that a championship is probably unattainable in a Magic uniform.

His time in that silver, navy blue and cement-grey uniform he has played in his whole career may be coming to an end after next season. While Howard’s contract is up after the 2012-13 season, he holds the power of a player option after 2011-12.

What does that mean for Orlando? If they don’t want to see Howard leave after next year, they had better give him more than what they gave him this season.

At this point in the season, all the Magic and Howard can do is sit back and watch how the rest of the playoffs play out. Being an observer will only fuel frustration in the big man and increase his pondering if he is in the right situation in Orlando.

If that level of curiosity reaches a boiling point, Orlando may feel a bit of déjà-vu with their second savior departing for a more golden future.

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Etan Thomas Gets Invited To Dwight Howard's Block Party

Yesterday, Dwight Howard tied an Orlando Magic playoff record with 48 points in their game one loss against the Atlanta Hawks.

However, Dwight is also known for his defense and sadly for the Hawks Etan Thomas, he showed him an example of it:

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Glen "Big Baby" Davis Receives Elbow From Dwight Howard

During last night's Magic/Celtics game five of the Eastern Conference Finals, Celtics forward Glen Davis received an elbow from Magic center Dwight Howard and collapsed to the floor.

After urging from his coach Doc Rivers, "Big Baby" tried to get his way down court, the only problem was that elbow he received from Dwight ended up causing a concussion and his balance was a little shaky to say the least.



Huh, it looks like how Charles Barkley walks after a night of LoLo's Chicken and Waffles.

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Dwight Howard Loves His Gatorade

Check out NBA superstar Dwight Howard talking about the new Gatorade G Series products and how he refuels himself after games.

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Superman Makes A Super Shot

Dwight Howard hits an unreal half court shot while setting a record for making the longest shot made while sitting on the floor.

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Dwight Howard Trick Shot from the Bench

Recently, the New Orleans Hornets faced off against the Orlando Magic.

In the pregame, Magic center Dwight Howard decided to practice on his trick shots with this over-the-head shot from the Magic bench.

That's pretty impressive, huh?

(Courtesy of That NBA Lottery Pick)

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NBA Top 50: The Super Beings (No. 1-4)

So we've been counting down the days 'til the NBA season tips off, and that day is today! With that said, I've been a bit behind in my count-downing-ing. Thus, you get the top 4 in one gi-normous post. Okay, it's not that gi-normous. But what do you want? New accolades for the already universally acclaimed? These guys are the best, and you'd be hard put to find reasonable arguments against it. At this point in his career, you might argue Kobe isn't as valuable as some of the other players. I'd argue he still has a slew of years left in him, mostly because he's the most dogmatic player when it comes to conditioning. Anyway, here's the top 4, in descending order, because really why feign anticipation when the future is already upon us? (Last year's rankings in parentheses...sorry no pics, I wanted to get this up before tip off actually went down, so I'm posting from work. Shhh! Don't tell anyone!)

1. Lebron James (1)…The King really does make the competition look weak by comparison. I’m not hating on Kobe as #2, but I feel qualified enough to confidently say that the whole 1 and 1A discussion that went on during last season’s playoffs was sheer bogosity. Lebron James is hands down the number one player in the NBA. Making this list, I actually wondered who could deservedly be placed at the number 2 slot, as ALMOST as good as James. No one seemed even in the ballpark. Last season, no one else was in the conversation for MVP, and Lebron earned that. He is the most talented player in the league and he consistently performs up to his abilities, making him the scariest thing since the Black Death (how is that not an incredible and controversial nickname for some athlete yet?).

Now, LBJ doesn’t come into this season without a bit of controversy. He’s been dubbed any number of belittling names for his actions as the ’09 season came to a close (and for Lebron Gate this summer). Still, it almost gives him more of an edge this year. If you were to compare these top 4 guys to super heroes, Lebron would be Captain America. He's obviously created in a lab somewhere, and he's got that superhuman quality without seeming next-to-godly. He's the guy you want leading your team (of super heroes OR regular Joes, Jamarios, and Delontes), but at the same time you wonder if that pristine front can really be all there is to him. I hope these faux pas aren't simply blips on his path to world edification but rather a sign of the edge needed for utter domination.

2. Kobe Bryant (2). After several seasons of controversy and much heated debate, this seems to be the slot Kobe Bryant now fills comfortably. At this point, Mamba is a known quantity. So known, in fact, I don’t think I have much to say about him. The only statement I need to make is that there are three aspects of greatness in my mind, and Kobe excels in all three. They are talent, effort, and skill. Kobe is arguably the best ever in two of the three.

First let’s start with the aspect I wouldn’t rank him tops in historically: talent. Kobe may not be the most talented basketball player on the planet, but he is close. Talent is the potential that is talked about as upside, and it is the quiet inner nexus that allows players to grow. Obviously, you need to have this if you’re going to be one of the elite. (Quick aside: top 5 most talented players ever have to be MJ, Lebron, Chamberlain, Dr. J, and Magic) The other aspect that goes hand in hand with talent is effort. Effort is often thought of as the refuge of role players and glue guys. I look it as the maximization of potential. Think of talent as a bubble and maximization as the extent to which a player fills this space with actual ability and accomplishments. Kobe may not have been blessed with the largest potential bubble in history, but no one can dispute that he’s filled his cup the brimming, and maybe even snuck back to the well for refills. (If you talk about the biggest bubbles filled most maximally, I would go with Kobe, MJ, Mailman, and Bill Russell as the archetypes.)

The last aspect speaks to those abilities filled out through maximization. Here, again, Kobe could potentially be at the top of the list historically. Kobe Bryant, in my humble estimation, is the most skilled player in the NBA. Tops ever would include Bryant, Duncan, Bird, MJ, and Chamberlain? The difference between talent and skill is that skill exists outside of realms solely inhabited by athleticism. Thus, we can see that Lebron is more talented than Kobe, though he may not ever be as skilled. Mamba is a technician of the highest order. Oh, and to continue the super hero conceit, Kobe is totally Spider-man. I'll let you play with that on your own time. Okay, more listing…

3. Dwight Howard (8)…I honestly think this is a big drop from the two spot, but last season was a recession of sorts when speaking of high profile players on display. Several major talents underperformed when compared to 07-08. Thus, though Dwight has several very obvious needs to elevate his game to where we all want to see it, he gets the nod at 3. Besides, he didn't exactly get worse over the last year or so. Despite the not hard to see flaws, Superman's become the barometer for dominant when it comes to defense and rebounding. Some Ewing Theory questions arose in this year's playoffs, and there was a steep drop-off when he was pitted against a team with size enough to keep Andrew Bynum off the court in the finals, but expect Howard to come back just as dominant. Last offseason, I didn't see much improvement, and I attribute that to the Olympics. That's what I hear, anyway. This offseason, with a finals lost stewing in his craw for 5 months, expect him to come back with at least one new post move. Here's hoping.

4. Dwyane Wade (11)…Wade may be getting dropped out of the 3 spot simply for his team’s underwhelming performance this year. Also, when taking into consideration the ability of the top 3 guys to take over games, Wade just comes out a little short. All that aside, he had a great season. For much of it, he was said to be in the MVP race. It was a statistical tour de force by Wade, and much hurrah-ed reinvention of the Iverson plus two show of recklessly abandoning self preservation we saw early in Wade's already championship-filigreed resume. I don't know. Words kind of fail me. The Dark Knight brings it all, and he wants to make the all-defense team this year. Watch out. The question now is simply what will his team bring?

What will any team bring? For all my hullaballooing over the top talent (and talent maximization) in the league, the season is made up of teams. These top 50 players will head the storylines throughout the season, that much we can be fairly certain of. Everything else? To be determined. And it all starts...in two hours!

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The Dwight Howard Puppet doesn't look well.....

Clearly, the Nike "MVP" muppet idea was hinder by the Orlando Magic advancing to the NBA Finals.

Well, Jimmy Kimmel decided to poke some fun at the Nike campaign by showing a faux commercial with the Kobe Bryant puppet and the Dwight Howard puppet. I guess even Nike is cutting back.

"But I Have No Legs."

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Finally, a funny Nike MVP commercial...

Well, I was finally happy that we got rid of those stupid MVP commercials by Nike but one fan decided that Nike needed to do one more.

Since, Lebron will be taking the summer off, I guess he finally has time to watch "Lil Dez."

D12 Pwned.

(Courtesy of Mac G's World)

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The Call Out: Dwight Howard

So I was listening to the Brian Kenny show on the drive home today, and he was asking the question: If you had to start an all-USA team, or even an all-world team, who would you start with? If we’re talking draft scenario, who do you take with the first pick? It’s not a new question, but it was prompted by comments from Phil Jackson that he’d go with Dwight. My first thought is that such comments cannot be taken at face value. I’m sure more important for Phil was the psychological weight his comments might carry to potential (at the time) finals opponent James. We know Phil plays a wicked game. But it doesn’t keep us from evaluating the question and resultant (no matter how tongue-in-cheek) statement as they relate to our own opinions.

Thus, who you got? The second thought that comes to mind re: BK’s ponderance is, uh, there already are all-USA teams and, at least, all-NBA teams selected, which ideally equates to all-world but we won’t get into that. So where does Dwight stand in these listings? (list n. An inclination to one side, as of a ship; a tilt.intr. & tr.v. list·ed, list·ing, lists To lean or cause to lean to the side) He made all-NBA for the 2nd year in a row. Okay. And he was on Team USA. But what transpired therein? Going into the Olympics, Dwight figured to stand head and shoulders above the comp in Beijing. What really happened, though, was that Dwight, athlete though he is, couldn’t keep up with little gnats flying about him in China. Bosh came to play a more significant role.

Which isn’t really a slam on Dwight. It’s just a big memorandum on the style-direction the game’s been taking for some time now. Big men are out. Point gods are back en vogue. Id est, I would actually go with Chris Paul over Dwight if I was starting a team, drafting from the entire world. Brian Kenny went with the obvious Lebron pick, and callers agreed with the obligatory Kobe name drop, which Kenny quickly refuted (and I would too). The point at the heart of the question, though, was the comparative singularity of Dwight’s talents to the relatively replaceable skill set of Lebron. Kenny, though going with Lebron, made the point that you could make up for his production more easily with a handful of substitutes or composites, but you couldn’t make up for the post presence that Dwight provides. Thus the illuminative quality given to Phil Jackson’s perhaps, in reality, throw-away comments.

So let’s really look at Dwight. That’s what I really wanted to do here, anyway. First off, that Team USA showing really concerned me. He’s been great in NBA play, so what was it, an exposure? A big fish in a wide-angle lens? The hitch before the growth spike? But after the Olympics, guys like Wade and Lebron showed immediate improvement. Dwight had always been solid defensively, though, so it wasn’t like he HAD to learn the lessons those guys picked up. And then Bosh faded. What was that MVP talk Chris? And the Magic kept coming and coming. Waves across a gulf.

See the line-up, Lebron? Yeah, you just might be called out next...

The lag that followed Dwight from that experience was the criticism of his growth. Pundits said he wasn’t anywhere near where he needed to be. He had been the only Olympian to suffer from losing a summer, because he had failed to pick up new moves. And there was the early fade only weeks ago, when he looked like he was pulling a Ewing (on several levels I won’t get into). And then came another wave. Dwight nailed a few free throws. He nailed a few more. He went mythical on our asses in the Conference Finals. This is the stuff legends are supposed to be made of. And Dwight’s been showing himself capable of attaining that. Superman was always a deflatable hero. In my mind, D-Ho fits more into the Captain American mold. The humble beginnings look all wrong for this strapping young lad, but if you talk refinement and skill, then yes.

Remember when Tim Duncan looked terrible in his first ever summer camp? It was all a careful scheme by Popovich, getting him to learn things rather than dominate when it didn’t mean anything. It looks as if Dwight and SVG have pulled the same kind of veil trick. (sidebar: dismantling the COY MB in the CF was totally SVG’s Dream knocking off the Admiral moment…and by the way, don’t hold it against Mike Brown. Deconstruction at the hands of a Dream isn’t REALLY any kind of diminishment.) Anyway, it seems that all this has been gestational. That Dwight has turned the corner. However, there are too many red flags. Downhill only goes so long. What happens when the Lakers really test this Magic team? What happens when Hedo leaves in free agency this summer? Okay, Jameer comes back, but still. What happens when Superman comes back to earth? Hopefully he’ll be able to remold himself, become not an impossibility but rather an ideal.

This is all rhetoric, and I’m getting tired. What I’m really saying is, there are a lot of people who look great in the one playoffs and then gutter out in the grind of another NBA season. Here’s hoping Dwight’s not one of them. Here’s hoping he doesn’t cave to the irresistible narrative of the Mamba. Actually, it’s not that overpowering when you really take some Derrida to it. Flex those deconstructive muscles, Dwight. Let’s see ‘em. Here’s calling you out, kid. Go get ‘em.

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Magic vs. Cavs: Homoeroticism and Greatness

Okay, that last Era-ta was a bit weak, so let’s make this more of a journey. Pathways, as it were. Last week I was reading about great military leaders, and especially those Romans of eternal renown. Tangentially, I got to reading and consequently thinking (that’s why we read, write, right?) about the importance homoeroticism has played throughout history, or at least the largeness of its presence. What with the PC war (that’s politically correct, not vs. Mac) and homophobia and homophobia-phobia (which, by the way, is really silly when you break into the realm of etymology and see that homophobia means fear of sameness, which is actually good, but we’ve taken and made what?), we have willfully blinded ourselves to the underlying presence of homoeroticism in popular culture. Let me amend that. We’ve blinded ourselves to the presence of underlying homoeroticism in heterocentric popular culture.

What I mean is, I’m not talking about guys kissing guys as a gross out gag in the American Pie series (or a dance off in a night club followed by assless chaps). I’m talking about the relationship Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn have in Wedding Crashers (thank one of my history profs for pointing that one out). I’m talking about the weird love triangle between Harry Potter, his buddy Ron, and whoever that other person is always following them around. Be more sportsy, Sean. I know. I’m talking about professional wrestling, men slathered up to tussle with each other in skimpy outfits. I’m talking about the banter and towel snapping that any young man who’s been on an athletic team has been witness to. I’m talking about the man crushes we sports fans harbor and condone. And that makes them sound like criminals, like we’re merely tolerating these sentiments. Which I guess is my point. They shouldn’t be simply put up with; they should be celebrated!

Look, Shoals pointed out the latent homoerotic potential in fan-hood’s embrace of Dwight Howard. Watching the Cavs-Magic series and possibly our two most heralded physical specimens, with Roman emperors on my mind, I remembered this suggestion, and thought I’d expand a bit upon it. I want to use something else I watched on tv recently as a framework. I want to look at Good Will Hunting. Bear with me.

I’m not saying the movie is about homosexuality at all, so don’t get all in a huff. And I’m not saying the relationship Will and Sean was at all inappropriate. But if you weren’t made uncomfortable by that scene where Robin Williams pushes Matt Damon a bit too far, and it leads to a positive outpouring of emotion, if you didn’t think Williams was a bit too close for comfort, then you’re not human. And I think that’s part of the point of that scene, to show that people who care about you will go the extra step for you, even if it’s uncomfortable. But, digression. What I really want to use here is the tension that is built up towards eruption in this scene, because a good deal of that tension is homoerotic.

Okay, let’s get the players on this little stage I’ve set. Let’s look at Lebron as the Matt Damon figure. Endless potential. Perhaps untapped. And then you’ve got Kobe, who’s obviously the Ben Affleck character. Not nearly as gifted as Damon (in the movie or out of it), and notable for the scene where he makes it painfully obvious. Kobe and Lebron’s Olympic experience is like that scene. Can’t you just see it in Kobe’s actions, in his eyes, the constant, quiet message, the reminder that he worked to get where he is. The silent accusation (which Affleck makes un-silent) that says I would give my left nut to be able to do what you do. I would make so much out of it. I’m waiting for the day you just take off. You owe it to me.

This ties in with the homoerotic undertone, but first the other characters. Dwight must be the Casey Affleck character. A seeming bit player, he seems just glad to be there. In that last scene, he runs up gleefully to take Damon's place, and eventually he lands a few roles showing him to be just as talented as Damon, if not more so. (Gone Baby Gone, and even The Assassination of Jesse James, and let the record show that Jesse James was the role that saw Brad Pitt strike out for recognition as a solid actor, even reach towards greatness. In this, maybe he's like Kobe - see below - but for the record, I'm not buying it. I thoroughly enjoyed young Brad Pitt, when the thoughts he spooled out on screen were raw and seemingly uncut. Pre-The Mexican stuff, for sure. But he's trying too hard now. It lacks the effortlessness that true greatness holds. He'll never be able to get inside me and shake me up like Sean Penn. Look at Johnny Depp, or even Tom Cruise. Their performaces always show one thought, intense, a firebrand, and then the execute it again and again, perfectly. This you could see in Pitt's 12 Monkeys or Fight Club, but he's thinking too much now. It's a strategy that I think works for Russell Crowe, but Pitt's having a hard time pulling it off. Meryl Streep does it well too.) And then I guess Wade is that other guy, but what’s the point of this? It’s not to look at dispositional relationships. Who needs analogies for that? Rather, it’s to look at projections. Thus, it’s unimportant to call Jordan the math guy and Magic the Robin Williams character, though you could. You’d almost like to say it’s inappropriate to do so, but that’d be missing the point of this whole thought.

Look, there’s that scene. Damon’s in bed with Minnie Driver, and he doesn’t want to let her meet his boys. What’s that uneasiness? Yeah, it’s about him being closed off and uncomfortable with letting her into his world. But it’s also about the dissonance between a male-female relationship, the accepting disconnect that occurs there, and the easy, we all come from one-and-the-same existential cloth (that’s Spinoza, if you want to educate yourself) fraternity of male youthfulness. Even when Damon’s in bed with her, he’s still got his boys right there. If anything, the movie’s about stepping out of your comfort zones (but not as simple as that), realizing your potential and applying it (but not as trite as that), and allowing yourself to do the things that really matter to you (there you go, you could’ve thrown a “but most importantly on there”, keep it going), allowing yourself to open up to the world and be vulnerable and be hurt, allowing yourself to be seen hurting. It’s about differentiating between success and happiness, and knowing what to hold on to. It’s about going out on a limb, even though the limb might snap. Because people, it’s all about that limb. Without it, you’re just a trunk, and how sad is that?

But back to basketball. You could say what limb does Lebron have yet to go out on? But you’d be missing the moment. The greatness of right now, the thing people wear shirts to witness, is the phenomenal extent to which Lebron’s potential potentially reaches. Sobering thought, though. I think it’s almost capped. Which is fine. It’s not to say ten more years of this would be a let down by any reach of the mind. But I think, if something doesn’t change, Lebron’s legacy loses a bit of the breathless quality with which it is currently imbued. See, there’s a reason Michael Jordan will always be regarded as the best athlete ever. And there’s a reason Muhammad Ali is right up there with him. They were performers. They understood the dual nature of modern sports. Yes, it’s about athletic ability and accomplishment. But it’s also entertainment. Some people, like Shaq and, to a lesser extent, Kobe seem too ably aware of this. They cater to the lime light. And sometimes it results in brilliant moments of honesty (Shaq) or at least a burgeoning openness that we seem to be gifted with (the other guy). But it doesn’t necessarily equate to greatness. It’s why Magic and Kareem, I think, were so great at showtime. They were innate performers, albeit on opposite ends of the loquacious-energy spectrum. But they didn’t have to think about it. The big moment was the big moment. Bang! They hit you with it right between the eyes. Unconscious. (Them or you, you’re not sure). In the same line of thinking, it’s why I will always remember the lob dunk over the Jail Blazers as the crowning achievement of that Lakers three-peat team. Shaq ran down the court, too ecstatic to pose, and sought out the man responsible for his glee. They embraced. End scene. (and I think in that pairing, Shaq is the Matt Damon character. The three championships were really like Kobe saying, “It’s not your fault,” over and over again, forgiving Shaq for his less than workmanlike work-ethic. Too bad the hug came too early. Damn that enthusiasm, Diesel.

Anyway, I’ve digressed. The crowning support (can that which holds up also exist as any kind of zenith?) in my idea structure is Jordan’s last shot. Supreme showmanship. And yet, not calculated as showmanship. Calculated as greatness. Every moment of MJ’s reign of terror was an instance of him saying, “You WILL remember me for this. And this. And this.” With too many other athletes, it’s too often, “What will you think of this? What will you think of this? What will you think of this?”

It’s an opening up and a buckling down all in the same, fluid movement. Once Lebron learns it, learns to dictate the moment into greatness, then he’ll have achieved his true potential. He’s too focused on the business side right now. I’ve said that before, and I still really hope that dissipates soon. Maybe he has to lose again to learn. Hungry in a different way. After game 2, I thought maybe he’s already learnt, and it’s just waiting to come to fruition. After tonight, it looks like he’s still not quite there (don’t get me wrong, amazing performance, but still lacking something).

Perhaps part of it, too, is that it’s hard to be unconscious when you have to be aware of the rest of your team. Jordan could trust that his shooters were where he needed them to be. And he had Pippen to do all the things that required actual cogitation. Kobe has Pau, and of course he was the thinking man to Shaq’s juggernaut swath of early 2000s greatness. I almost think Kobe is too unconscious right now. Like he’s spent so many hours pre-programming himself that he’s not in full control of which attack sequences play out when. With him it’s hard to tell if he’s the example of greatness gone over the greatness line to approach parody, or if he’s the ultimate thinker, and he’s simply taught himself to think unconsciousness.

Lebron is often compared to a linebacker, but this season he’s looked more and more like a quarterback out there. He’s perpetually barking orders at his teammates, and they love him for it because he’s probably never wrong. I never got it before, but those pre-game rituals were like a post-touchdown celebration. And they showed a type of unconsciousness that I thought had signaled Lebron’s imminent eminence. But we haven’t seen those so much now, have we?

I think this Orlando series has really proved that Lebron has another step to take. And, in retrospect, I think Dwight has shown himself to be truly unconscious, and thus able to step into greatness almost more seamlessly (of course, James is trying to get himself a new cloth). The Moses comparisons came right away. There’s been no looking back and there’s been no hamstringing at the expense of what MIGHT BE there. No, Dwight’s here and now. He’s so goofy, so unrestrained. How did I not see this sooner? Oh man, whoever comes out of the West is in trouble.

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Do you Believe in Magic? Magic take a 3-1 series lead

Despite having one of the best road records during the regular season, The Cleveland Cavaliers have found Orlando’s Amway Arena to be a house of horrors. The Magic have taken a 3-1 series lead after taking game four in overtime by the score of 116-114.

Lebron James had another fantastic game with 44 points, 12 rebounds, and seven assists. However, Orlando’s Dwight Howard decided to put on his “superman cape” in overtime by scoring ten of his twenty-seven points in overtime.

Orlando has appeared to out-muscle Cleveland for most of the series and appeared to be in control through most of this game. Cleveland had chances to win the game but was unable to stop a late three-point barrage by the Magic going into the 4th quarter. The Magic hit a team record, 17 three point shots.

The Cavaliers will have to take the “Boston Red Sox” route to win this series having to come back from a 3-1 deficit. Only seven teams in NBA history has come back from this deficit. At this point, it appears that even the Cavaliers have quit and seem to be planning for next year. Mo Williams guarantee to win the series just appears to look more foolish than anything else.

In the end, the Orlando Magic was only one second away from sweeping arguably the best team in the NBA. However, I think they will be happy with the 3-1 series going back to Cleveland in game five on Thursday.

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When I slam dunk, the backboard, I break it

On last night’s edition of Inside the NBA, Ernie’s Neat-O State of the Night dealt with players who broke the backboard or basket in an NBA game.

This was prompted by when Orlando Magic center Dwight Howard broke the shot-clock during game of the Eastern Conference Finals against the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Darryl Dawkins was the king of breaking backboards, Remember Chocolate Thunder!

(Courtesy of A Stern Warning)

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Orlando Magic, NBA Oddballs

Yes, Dwight Howard wreaked havoc on the backboard mechanics, just as Shaq of old. Wednesday night against the Cavs, D-Ho dunked thunderously enough that the shotclock sighed backwards. Could Dwight be said to be playing defense even on the clock? Sorry, I'm tired. The game was suspended for "just over 8 minutes," though it was probably more like 15, in order to get it fixed. Gotta love the language on this vid, and with the multiple mentions of "Hedo," it must be Turkish being spoken. Sidenote: baseball games are suspended for rain, basketball games for thunder. Enough. I have a bit I want to say about the Magic, but first a bulleted list of similes for your reading pleasure.

• Stan Van Gundy's like a college professor mixed in with a little BAM! Emeril.
• Pietrus is like a raptor, or some insane(ly normalized) android from the future/france, sent to be the unassuming foil to this audaciously wacky Magic club.
  
• Andy Varejao's like a rich kid who's just lost his trust fund (look at the 2:16 mark here, his face totally screams, "where's my money?" and not in a Jerry McGuire way)
• (At the 2:27 mark of the same video,) Lebron's like some faceless, form-defying by means of form-reifying, flying kid on a skateboard, who lands a sick spin over stairs which automatically become the subject of his already moving away from the pathetic excuse for an obstacle, I conquered you, here's a shirt that says you were owned (yeah, all that) stare. Except...
  
• Oh yeah, Dwight's just a boy (that's a metaphor, not a simile...or maybe it's just reality, sorry) who wants to have his fun, dammit. And if it means tearing this whole place down and laughing at our consternation (see, if he's the second coming of the Shaqtus, then he pulls down all semblances of paradigm around him, as well as backboards. More on that after the bullet.), then so be it.
  

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I gotta say, if the Rockets are the right-way torch bearers of the future, and the Nuggets are the real realization of all that right-way basketball can mean, then the Magic are the idiosyncratic cousin of right-wing, right-point, right-post operations. It's not that the Magic do it the "right way." Nor do they do "it" the "wrong way." Rather, they do it their own way. High-school phenom, not so weird. Blossoming point man, okay. But then they snag streetball legend Rafer Alston. And before that, they overpay Rashard Lewis, a non-star who I always thought was a little too dogged about being the last player in the green room. It's like the Paul Pierce dropping to 10th complex multiplied ten times. Fairly debilitating. But the man plays on. And then, the Magic's closer is a 6-10 swing man whose first name is Hidayet, who handles like Kukoc, but has a mug like a pugilist (and let's not forget, he's Turkish not Eastern European like that other guy who played on that Sacto team, which featured young gunner Mike Bibby, who we'll return to in a sec). The rotation is then filled with creation-myth oddballs like the Caribbean/French Pietrus and the Polish Hammer Marcin Gortat. Who claps like the only man who believes in tinkerbell, at the 0:55 mark in the following vid.

Also, the next clip in this vid after Gortat's clapping, there's a soundbite missing. In pointing to the Cavs' lack of experience with pressure situations this playoffs, he made reference to Mike Bibby. I couldn't find the clip, but Van Gundy said something to the effect of, "for crying out loud, they only had to go up against Mike Bibby! Jameer, suit up! You'll beat them with your experiential mojo!" Somewhere, somehow, Mike Bibby's pissed. And frogs everywhere take heed (seriously, have you heard the Bibster's voice?).

By the way, that Mike Bibby link actually goes to Mikebibby.com, which you wouldn't think...about. But there it is. One day I'll actually look into how many players have their own sites dedicated to them. I also like derekfisher2.com.

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Big Baby Apologizes, Sits on Things

Besides nailing the game winner Sunday, Glen "Big Baby" Davis also ran into a 12 year old boy. In a rather absurd turn of events, the boy's father demanded that Davis apologize. Big Baby was a grown up about it (funny how that works, huh?), he was a good sport and apologized about it. He also said he's a big guy (okay), and sometimes he doesn't feel the remote when he sits on it (um...yeah). He goes on to say, "If I've hurt anybody, or if I've done anything, harmed anybody, please forgive me, because my intention was just harmless." Blah blah blah. Means well, I get it. But sometimes the things that aren't said but are heard are more fun. My first time through the video, I swore he said, "If I've done anything ON anybody..."

All jokes aside, it's the second round of the NBA playoffs y'all. We got blood, we got suspensions, we got all kinds of craziness. Go ahead and say you're sorry, but inside know it's too late to 'pologize. And that's a good thing.

Also pertinent: a new vid from Scrumptious Soda. Necessary to mention for the (pretend) Dwight line, "Stop criticizing my criticisms," as well as Rashard Lewis and Ray Allen's playoff defections to Nellieball. Oh, and Mark Cuban gets involved. Really, quite comprehensive.

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Recognize the Red Sun Rising

Trouble on Krypton (that's the planet, for you non-believers, not the florid green jersey Nate wore, which would be kryptonite). Dwight, the chosen son, continues the criticism of SVG that began with Shaq's inflammatory comments. Hard to believe that the other Gundy brother had been the rather heavy favorite for CoY prior to Shaq's media tongue lashing. Maybe Diesel really is from another planet. Following is a (top secret, apparently) video of Shaq convulsing toward his bathroom then goofing around in the mirror. That whole heart beat thing really just makes me think Shaq's hands double as defibrillator paddles. If that's the case, he must've been visiting the Rockets Sunday and the Celtics Tuesday. Oh, and don't forget about the Mavs. But they might be too far gone even for Dr. Diesel.

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2 A.M. Two-Fer: Dwight Howard Throwin' Dem Bows!

What up home skillets? Presentation out of the way, let's get you s'more NBA action. Honestly, the muy-muy deep west rungs have proven sodden and Chris Dudley like (not hating on the man - gotta commend any athlete who played through diabetes - just hating on the flat-footed game and the wet-noodle in the chamber name). I mean, just drubbing after drubbing (a 58 point loss? they should just give the Hornets a mercy rule buh-bye already). Howard-ever, the East has given us a few truly rousing first round match-ups. Lebron and Co. dominated, which was exhilirating despite its brevity. Dwayne Wade vs. the Atlanta Falcons I mean Hawks? Who knows what's up with that series. And the Celtics-Bulls feels more epic, really, than the trumped up Celtics-Lakers media frenzy of last year's finals.

But the emergent diamond in the rough? Magic-Sixers. Sure, it's a match-up thing. But so was Magic-Pistons. The point is, we're seeing marquee performances by multiple participants in this bout. Iguodala has stepped up, demanding the raves for his defensive prowess by showering us with some O. Turkoglu has proven SVG right about going to him late. And then there's D-Ho. He nailed the free throws to tie it up in Game 3. In Game 5, he went Malone on the 76ers. After the game, he said, "It's not like I'm out there trying to hurt anybody." But please, Dwight! Please! Thsi is what we want to see out of you. For Patrick Chewing's sake, throw them bows! Do like Damp, in fact (I can't believe I'm typing that), and lay 'em on their backs! Don't, of course, send the surging Courtney Lee to the hospital again, but still, more plays like this please:

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Epochrypha: Era-ta

Since I'm on an off week for Epochrypha, and seeing as my soupe du jour or, rather, soupe de la saison (i.e. the NBA) isn't top news right now, I figured it'd be a good time serve up the first helping of Era-ta, which will taste pretty much like the bi-weekly but be a little less meaty (cf. clam chowder vs. corn chowder). For now, Great Sports Names, some guy named Tiger, and a little Madness may thicken the air, but in a week or two you're going to want to turn your attention back to the only league that insists on calling itself an association. The following tidbits won't make you more knowledgeable come NBA postseason, they won't help you win any sports bar arguments with your buddies, but it should keep your appetite whetted and keep you feeling superior to your boxscore billeted "peers". So tuck your bibs in boys and girls and get that saliva going. Here we go.

• So, last Epochrypha, I talked about parity as probably good for ratings, and fan excitement, and etc. I also talked about polarity being better for narrative creation (incidentally, case study: Kobe). Whatever. Who cares. People who care say 32 to 50 wins make an average, and if you look at the East it's actually quite paritous (to borrow a page from the Shaqtus book of spelling). The West, however, is a mess, mostly because six or seven teams are projected to win more than 50 games and nearly the same amount are projected to win less than 30. Yawn. But here's the wake-up call. The Toronto Raptors look to fall just outside that paritous zone. Makes sense when you look at their season, but not when you look at a game like Sunday night's. Bosh puts up 31 and 15 and Calderon dished out 19 to push them over the right at .500 Bulls. With stars who can perform like that, you gotta think they do well, but they don't. Similarly, look at the New Jersey Nets. By all accounts, Vince Carter and Devin Harris are having excellent years, and Brook Lopez is showing himself as a solid contributor, if not more. They're well within the paritous zone but fairly far from the playoffs at this point. Sure their bench sucks, but with feel good stories like that you'd think they'd be a little closer to pushing the woeful Pistons from the postseason. Then, look at the top of the standings in the East. Three teams projecting into the 60-win range. Cleveland, sure. But Boston hasn't had the season people expected by any stretch of the imagination. Still, 60-ish wins. And Orlando? Maybe Dwight's stepped up his game. But Lewis and Turkoglu haven't had significantly better seasons than they did last year. And Jameer Nelson went out after a game over half a season. How is that a 60 win team? What I'm getting at is the impropriety of perception. Feel good stories don't mean squat at the end of the season. They might be good for the pundits and bloggers, or the casual fans, but they don't get you to the postseason. No, what does that is mid-season streaks and "no news is good news" style of ball. See: Spurs (Yawn).
  

• Hate to keep beating a dead horse, but people keep writing about my idea and not giving me credit. Following that link, you'll find a Marc Stein piece on what this year's playoffs would like if the division winners could select their first round opponents. It's good to see the idea extended and applied like that. What I find intriguing is actually all the stories you'd get from teams' internal bickering over which opponent to choose. You can just imagine Dwight Howard telling the press that he'd have picked Detroit if he had the choice, even though it'd probably be a bad basketball decision. It'd be another chance to see the star egos at play, which is always fun.

• Stein's been doing a bunch of foward-looking thinking (and I'm not talking about drooling over Blake Griffin), which is commendable. He gives quite a full FAQ about the possibility of a lockout, so if you want to be knowledgeable about the party after the after-party, you can check that out. What interests me more, however, is the quiet mention that Stern's going to propose the pick-your-poison playoff scheme to the NBA's shrouded-in-mist "competition committee." This really intrigues me, because I've heard this semi-governing body bandied about the blogosphere a bit, but I have absolutely no idea what it is. Who's on it? Does it simply entail Stern going back to his boudoir (don't ask me why all the French), sticking ideas on a dart board, and playing pop the balloon? Okay, a hot second of poking around reminds that the competition committee led the decision to make the perimeter a wing's feeding frenzy. And it's headed by Jerry Colangelo, who is responsible for both the national Redeem Team and, partially, the Phoenix incarnation. Also, the NFL has a competition committee. Still, no other period in sports would produce such a method of getting things done. So maybe there were groups of guys who made the decisions about how games should look before, but they never needed to be referred to as some kind of shadowy recourse for all the tough questions put to the commissioner.

• Maybe I was wrong to quote the Kobster on this twitter stuff. I mean why look to the guys who are abstaining to tell you how good the forbidden fruit is? I criticized the breaking of the fourth wall for making athletes all the more unreachable and distant, making their presentable facade leak in to their actual lives, which is sad. However, who's the king of all this? The Big Antithesis (to Kobe), of course. And how does the Diesel do it? By being more real than we've ever seen a star athlete be. Sure, his actions remind more of a 20 year old than a 37 year old. Still, we can't discount how refreshing it is to see an athlete frequenting normal places, like a diner or department store. Also, it's pleasantly revealing to know he can't sleep sometimes, just like most people, and to see the hilariously mundane photos he takes when insomnia strikes.

• Louis Amundson, he of recent Stepping Up fame, apparently called Nene a "dirty player" and "fake tough guy." Accusations of dirty have been flying all over the league this year. But I love Nene's response. He calls Amundson a "stupid dude" and says, "That was no head butt. That is nothing ... If I do a head butt, I break all of his face. That was nothing.'' He also says George Karl talks to him about control, but what he's really trying to work on is patience. Me? I'm patiently waiting for all this dirty talk to hit the competition committee fan.

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Did Dwight Howard just do that?

Very sadly, I did not get a chance to watch the Miami Heat take on the Orlando Magic. What I did miss was Dwayne Wade dropping his career high 50 points but Dwight Howard was more magical than that.

Howard had 32 points and 17 rebounds in the Magic 122-99 victory. However during the pre-game he attempted the shot in the video above and made it.

I guess TNT made the wrong decision on who should have been in the Horse Competition.

(Courtesy of The Sporting Blog from Black Sports Online)

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NBA All-Star Slam Dunk 09 couldn't live up to the hype....

While watching NBA All-Star Weekend, I had some sinking feeling that it was not going to live up to the hype of last year.

That sinking feeling was correct as the marquee events of the three point shoot-out and the slam dunk contest left something to be desired.

The slam dunk contest at the beginning was a relative snooze-fest with Rudy Fernandez and J.R. Smith just trying to prevent a finals match-up between Dwight Howard and Nate Robinson.

The highlight of the night was when Dwight Howard went into the phone booth and dunked on the 12 foot rim. Howard's performance after that was decent but Robinson stole the show by dunking over him.

With the performance that Howard put up in 2008, it was going to be tough to duplicate. Slam Dunk had the hype, just couldn't live up to it.

Postscript: Lebron James allegedly tossed his hat into the ring for Slam Dunk 2010. It is tough to tell if Lebron is serious or not but we will have to wait and see about that.

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